Purpose: One year ago today my daughter was diagnosed with leukemia.
I feel like my joy got lost during that year of living at Johns Hopkins, of learning a vocabulary of five-syllable words, of giving up my job, my interests, my friends, and even, sometimes, the rest of my family. Who wouldn’t give a year of her life for her child? But, now I’m trying to, if not reclaim that time, then reclaim a little bit of me.
I wonder if people will think I’m being selfish – thinking of my own trivial pursuits when my father-in-law is dying, when Evelyn is still taking chemo every day, when, for goodness’ sake, America’s debt rating has been demoted to AA-plus.
My answer to the internal critic, and any others, would be that I will still be running a household with four young children, an exchange student, and a workaholic husband. The only change is that I will consciously plan one thing for myself each week. I invite readers to come with me.
Quote: I think I could kick that bird if it would come closer…(me)
This week I went parasailing with my sister Tammy. I’m so sad that she is
moving, but she was here when I needed her the most and I thank G-d for
that. She was the first one I called when the tests showed Evelyn had
cancer, when Evie was already on her way to Hopkins, and Tammy has been with
me every step of the way.
She’s busy with moving, I’m busy with four kids in the summer. Took a lot to find twenty minutes to talk without interruption. In fact, it took a boat ride out into the Susquehanna, wearing a harness, and then being yanked up into the sky by a large parachute. Once we were 800 feet in the air it was so quiet, so
peaceful. Except when I was happily screaming at the people below in their own boats.