Dating Again

“The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.” ― Martha Washington

Yesterday morning, and then again this morning, I woke to the thought, “No smoothies today” and a corresponding sigh of relief.  This may seem strange, but for those who have followed my daughter’s fight with leukemia, you know exactly what I mean.  This month the week of 11 doses of cancer-fighting medication mixed into a blended drink met in a perfect storm with my children being off from school and my helper Anna taking holiday while her friend visits from Germany.

The medication, the routine to take the medication, the chaos while trying to keep her focused and the other children not distracting…it can be messy. 

So I want to recognize that we are BREAKING OUT of our protective cocoon.  Not all the way, of course, Purell and shoes still at the door and FEVERS still send us straight to Hopkins, but enough to let light filter in through the holes.  For example, resuming DATING.  Not as easy as it sounds to change the ‘emergency/scared’ mindset, to back off the SuperParent role that we both play well, to introduce ourselves to each other.    

We started in January.  A good time to start, being the beginning of a new year and our tenth anniversary.  We went to New York City. Also a good choice because who doesn’t like NYC?  Husband gets props for planning the whole trip as a mirror to our engagement trip.  We went to an ice hockey game that was really a boxing match on ice.  We had dinner at Gramercy Tavern: the tastings menu. Hotel on the highest possible floor at the Marriott Marquis looking out over Times Square.  Big plush bed (we’re married, it’s okay). Meeting up with Geoff and Anita for coffee and then a Broadway show that just won a bunch of Tonys.  Friends redux at “The View” nightclub THAT SPINS AROUND.  And has napkins with the named buildings.  Pretty cool. You’d think that maybe it’s not the best idea when sipping martinis, but it all works out. A tour through an Irish tenement building.  It was like being on “The Bachelorette” where the environment is sumptuous; you’re treated like royalty and is complete fantasy wrapped in a realistic robe.  I loved it.

So, we tried to go on another date a couple months later.  Just dinner.  Errm.  Not much to say about that except it wouldn’t have gotten a second date.  That’s okay.  Try, try, again.

Went to the Meyerhoff to see “The Tao of Drumming.”  Fantastic show!  Japanese martial arts choreographed to music, primarily drums and flute.  Stunning backdrop, beautiful costumes, and dramatic and humorous sketches mixed in.  First Note:  Hmmm.  Having something to watch or experience together might be better idea for starting dating than having jumped straight to dinner which relied on conversation.  Second Note:  Women had FANTASTICLY TONED arms and back muscles.  Maybe get giant drum to beat on for birthday? 

Next date: A double date with our friends Sid and Deb to see the Capitals beaten down in DC.  Seats right behind the goal.  Yes, that was Sid pounding on the glass on television.  If you don’t believe me, ask Pat Sajak.  He was there too.  But he left early.  Don’t blame him.  Wasn’t the Caps best night, but it was SO FUN for us because of our seats.  Next Note:  Having another couple join you for a date lets you see your own partner in a different light and brings up new conversation points.  Why didn’t I remember this sooner?

That’s all I got so far.  Although, it strikes me that on the train to NYC we each brought one bag – the same bags we’d packed when we eloped to Florence, Italy.  Honey, does this mean a repeat of our Tuscan adventure in a couple of years?     

2 thoughts on “Dating Again

  1. We(Sid and Deb) had a lot of fun as well. I noticed you left out the semi-lustful appreciation you held for the youngster playing goalie. As a side note, neither of us have ever been to NYC but your little story has motivated me to make some plans.

  2. Ha! That was just an audience-performer fantasy. Where you are soooo special that the band pulls you up on stage, the spitting goalie gives you a wink, the boxer looks at you right before getting KO'ed. Still, in the interest of being open-minded, I'm happy to add another note: On a date, not good idea to experience lustful appreciation of nearby twenty-three-year-olds.If you guys head up to NYC we're happy to help you plan.

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